EPILOGUE

all of a sudden, there was change
and yet i thought this is ephemeral.
all of a sudden, there was you
and yet sight was hazy till you came clear.
all of a sudden, there was emotions
and yet i was too scared what my eyes reveal.
feelings untamed, emotions overflowing.

insatiable i am.
grasping only what's given.
inseparable i wanted us.
will it be too much to ask?
blissful romance, a myth.
now, i wanted to believe.

there is us.
there you are.
i hate the minute we're apart,
yet i'm restless when you're around.
i'm alive, my breathing's shallow.
in time your around,
i couldn't help but bellow.
stay.
that's all i'm asking.
love.
that's where we should be heading.

INTRUDER

Another breaking, another aching. He could have been better, but for now he's the best. I see him now, or I'll see him never, what matters is that we see the line together. He could be, he should be or else I'll be the Frisbee. A momentary suspension, a lifetime to linger. He is here, though forever is an ideal. All there is, is one simple act: understanding, though it's very generic. This word's often taken for granted, yet I say, this word meant the mundane world. Where is he if I do not understand him? Where will I, if I chose to be misunderstood? He is right at my door, knocking and he will keep on knocking until he finally breaks in. When he does, I'll be just there, impatient,but loving.

I'll see you when I see you.

Of Blood and Tears

Why does the torturing won't stop? I see that bloody firmament and i couldn't pass by the meadow without my tears turned crimson. Oh, I hate the feeling of rejection because I know them too much. The most wicked torture I man-made myself. I allow these demons to eat me alive. I welcome the shadows of my past in my intense dreams. Would you, my loving world bring me justice? Or should I be the one seeking for it? It's always my downfall, and I don't think I'll ever learn the lesson. Or maybe I am addicted to the pain it gives me. I thought love is the morphine? Why then I still feel the wounds were never healed? The wounds keep on getting more abrasions. Will I wait for the numbness of my soul? Or should I just allow this to keep on burning 'till I'm used to it? I have been there. Now, i am again getting there. I know exactly how it feels, but I keep coming back. Why? Do I  have the feeblest heart? Do I deserve this? Or am I just cursed? Whatever the answers to these queries, I intend to be myself. It's the only defense I could come up with. I always have to take the risks even if it means being the bloodied lass, broken and alone in the end.

ARIA

You asked me to make this for you, and here it is.

Tonight's a distant lullaby

A humming that comes from nowhere

Midnight is screaming its silence

Like my dreams with you fiddling.

Tunes i made from sobbing

A delicate song playing

I see you softly laying

As i rush towards you, chanting.

I love creating a world with you
Of words we mouth and chew.
I love the melody you filled in my head,
The dancing of you and me.

I devour your endless whisper
Crushed the doubt that's forming,
Your voice will always be my ditty
Forever, it'll be embedded in my memory.

Tonight's a fantasy.

Of a love that's built by a song.

Listen to my heart warbling,

Make the moonlight our witness.

MOVING ON...

Just when I thought my emotions were dead, I found someone who could revive this. So this I hope. It may take longer time to heal the wounds from the past, yet I know I am ready to take another step. The guidance I needed is now on track. I do not need to be afraid. I do not need to hold back. I just have to keep pushing my luck, if this is the only way to become stronger if not the strongest person. I have forgiven "him" already, and I can say that I am happy with his current status. I am working on the burial of my indecent actions and my impulsive activities.

There is the right time for everything and now is the time.

This is a matter of my heart.

This is going to be a start of something wonderful.

I intend to keep this going on with us. Working on it....

PSYCHE

I always have these queries in my head, yet i do not even know how to put these into words. It's like it has been there for a long time and it's pushing its way out. The entry of these questions were quick and the exit will be quite challenging. I sometimes hate myself for acting tough, hence i cry about just anything. I could also cut myself for being too generous wherein I know that I might even get myself into trouble. I could even kill myself every time I wear my heart on my sleeve and all i could do is forgive and forget. 

That... i always get in trouble with. That... pushed me to be just me- plainly ambitious. That... I know will lead me to goodness, yet I'll always stay unknown. All these made me care-less. I'll live my life just the way I wanted it. No fuss, no nothing.

You... again

i couldn't think past the lullaby in my head. 

as i began soaring up high.

images of you...

i paused-

and i think twice.

i couldn't laugh without your guffaws haunting.

as i keep my head cool.

memories...

i stopped.

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God! i keep playing our song.